Conquer
by jazzykatz
Summary: Literally it began as a coffee shop au and then somewhere along the line it stopped and turned into porn. Irken Dib. ZADR. I gave Dib blue eyes, so sue me.


Zim had his eye on Dib ever since he stepped into the coffee house. Zim immediately knew what he was; an Irken. At first he was threatened, as another Irken meant many things; a rival for Earth, a bounty hunter, a fugitive even. Though, as time went on, he felt that the man had no idea that Zim was an Irken, or at least hid his suspicions quite well.

Zim opened the coffee shop up after a long depression in which he vanished from Earth entirely. He blamed the Tallest for that, exposing the gruesome truth about his mission to him and laughing about it afterwards. He went through all seven signs of grief, and when acceptance finally rolled around, five years had passed. He found himself wiser, taller, and in another part of the country. He needed a fresh start. After studying what humans were becoming addicted to he decided to open up a coffee shop, it started out slow at first, but with a little 'tweaks' in his own recipes, it soon became a popular hot spot for the human hipsters and their troupe of socialites.

Dib, however, was immune to those tweaks in the coffee, and neither was he a hipster or a socialite. He was completely opposite. Always reading a book, always alone, always quiet. Bitter. He was bitter, with a hint of spice and hazelnut aroma.

"Hey."

Zim found himself staring into very familiar blue eyes, irritated blue. He set the cup he had been polishing for at least ten minutes down and smiled sweetly at the other, "May I help you?"

Dib cringed at the sweet smile and shoved what looked like a latte with a dick drawn in the foam toward his side of the counter. "I ordered a black coffee, and one of your slave boys gave me this. I'm not amused."

Zim looked down at the latte and try as he might, the corners of his mouth twitched into a grin. "I'll take care of it right away Mr. Membrane." He turned to make him a black coffee himself but stopped, thinking about the other for a moment and soon deciding to alter the other's order just a tad. "You'll enjoy this one…" Working with coffee wasn't hard once he had gotten used to it, after a while it reminded him of his science experiments back on the massive. The slightest bit of anything made the biggest difference, and something special added in when no one was looking could alter anyone's perception on humanity.

When he was done mixing his magic he presented it to Dib, the cup presenting the very image of black coffee, but the aroma giving Dib something he delighted in.

Zim sat his arms on the counter and watched him inhale the scent, soon taking a sip. "Dib like?"

The man set down the coffee and sighed, "This is why I come to this shop, Zachary. You're a fine barista, despite your inept crew."

Zim waved his hand in dismissal at the college students that caught Dib's words, "They're learning."

Dib rolled his eyes and decided to sit at the counter. Zim knew he was a college professor, a young one at that. He knew so much about Dib that it bordered on obsession, but then with no planet to conquer anymore he needed something to do. As a human, Dib wasn't that bad looking either. Sometimes he daydreamed about how the other looked without his disguise.

Dib took another drink out of the cup, taking out his phone and checking the time. "Ugh, class…"

"Time to inspire tomorrow's youth." Zim grinned.

"Time to hope tomorrow's youth will listen." Dib took another swig of his coffee and replaced his phone with his wallet, but Zim held up a hand.

"On the house."

Dib took out some money anyway and placed it in the tip jar, grabbing his book with his free hand and heading out.

* * *

It was amusing that an actual alien taught Paranormal Studies 101. Even more amusing that on such a large planet Zim had found Dib. The coincidence was amazing, and drove Zim further into his obsession.

From the sudden lack of students in his shop, Zim knew that it was finals week. He stayed open, however, knowing that a certain exhausted teacher would be looking for his fix late at night. He had sent his junior baristas home around that time, promising that they wouldn't be needed.

Dib finally came in around nine, right as Zim was closing the blinds. "Zachary?"

Zim turned at the sound of his other name, grinning when he saw his obsession. "Membrane."

Dib shuddered at that, smiling slightly. "Please just call me Dib, Membrane is my father's name."

Something about that struck a chord with Zim, his grin faltering as he made his way to the other end of the bar. After a split second he shoved the feeling away and picked up a cup from behind the bar. "What can I get for you?"

Dib sat down, shrugging off his trench coat and placing it on the chair beside him. "Actually, I wanted to talk."

Zim caught Dib's stern eyes and set the cup down. "About...?"

"About the fact that I'm not stupid, Zim." Dib folded his hands calmly, watching as Zim's eyes widened in shock. "Zachary is such a stupid name, even for you."

"H-how?" Zim went from shocked to furious, slamming his hands on the bar with his eyes narrowed.

"Didn't you even try to figure out why another Irken was on Earth? I figured you would get the hint when I told you my last name!" Dib stood up then, slightly amused at Zim's reaction.

Zim stammered, looking over at the cup. "Membrane is the name of our Tallest, why in the hell-" When he looked back up at Dib the other Irken frowned.

"Didn't I say that it was my father's name?"

"You-you're Tallest Membrane's son?" It finally donned on him, and the realization painted his face into disbelief. Zim reached up to tug on the hair on his head, the wig ending up askew before he tried to fix it in a panic. "This can't be happening you can't be the Tallest's son I'm not here right now-"

Dib winced, sighing as the Irken rambled on in his panicked state. He stood up and calmly walked to the door, locking it and shutting the blinds. He ran a hand though his hair before deactivating his own disguise. "Zim, would you calm down and let me speak?"

Zim refused to calm down, trying not to crumble into pieces over the most obvious hint he decided to ignore for as long as they met. "WHY? How? What are you even doing here?" He was on the verge of shrieking.

Dib exhaled and sat back down in his chair, "My father-your Tallest, decided it was my turn to invade a planet. He sent me here to do what you obviously couldn't. My research of the planet's resources will be complete once summer begins. I plan to have it ready for conquest before winter."

"Invade MY PLANET?" Zim began to shout, "You're not allowed. This is my planet. MINE."

Dib tilted his head, the amusement wearing off. "How can it be your planet?"

"I LIVE HERE!" He made a fist with his hand, shaking. "I've been banished, this is all I have!"

Dib looked around when Zim shakily gestured to the entire cafe, and after a moment of silence the Irken began to laugh.

Zim's eye twitched, "What?"

Dib continued to laugh, and it only made Zim angry. "Stop." He demanded. When Dib continued Zim hissed out and dove across the bar, bodily slamming Dib to the floor. "I SAID STOP!" He shouted while making a fist with his hand and slamming it across the other's cheek. "There's only room for ONE IRKEN on this planet!"

Dib scowled and spit out some blood, taking one moment to assess his situation before throwing a counter-punch. The two Irkens began to fight right then and there, clawing, kicking, punching and sometimes biting. They battled for dominance, rolling around the floor while attacking one another. The fight was ended abruptly when Dib used his weight to pin Zim to the floor. Before Dib could catch his breath it was taken away when Zim lurched himself upwards to kiss him. IT threw the Irken off, which what Zim needed before flipping the two over so he was on top, but this time he was pinning Dib.

Dib opened his mouth to speak, but he couldn't think of anything to say. Totally perplexed by the action, it caused Zim to take over the situation and dip down to kiss him again - this time it was slower, more languid. To Dib it felt longer than it was, and when Zim parted their lips Dib realized that his own eyes were closed.

"Mmm you're just as I imagined." Zim's voice lowered in its tone, sounding more sultry. "I wonder if you're the same...down there."

Dib's eyes snapped open, and in front of him was the real Zim, his disguise having gone away to reveal a predatory look on the Irken's face. His cheeks flushed and he looked away.

If he were to say Zim didn't enter his fantasies just a tad in the time that they knew each other, then Dib would have been lying to himself. He knew Zachary's true identity as soon as he entered the coffee shop once upon a time. Dib tried to give Zim plenty of opportunities to discover his secret, which failed each time. When Zim began to flirt with him, however, Dib had to admit that the idea was a forbidden one that excited him - the Tallest's son with the miscreant of the Empire. His father would be furious, and he really never felt like being an Invader.

"Al-alright, Zim..." Dib studdered, still quite flushed. He was going to regret this. "Let's make a deal. If-if-you can-conquer me-I'll leave Earth alone." The middle part was barely a whisper, slowly looking back at the other Irken.

Zim's grin was almost acidic, red eyes staring down and piercing Dib's own. Dib felt Zim's grip on him tighten and before he could regret what he just said the other Irken attacked. Zim had his mouth on Dib's neck immediately, sucking hard on the skin until he heard the other cry out just a little. His hands worked on Dib's uniform, claws digging into fabric and ripping it away from delicious green skin that his mouth trailed down to. Dib's back arched the lower Zim's mouth went, biting and sucking and making marks of every area he had traversed, his tongue lapping up beads of blood that emerged from the wounds. Eventually Zim lead himself down to Dib's slit, his eyes taking in the sight before his tongue delved inside. Dib gasped, his eyes wide and staring up at the ceiling, silently begging for Zim to do more.

Wishes were made to be granted, Dib crying out when Zim slid a finger into Dib's slit, stroking him from the inside-out. "Come out for Zim~" The Irken cooed, feeling the other's wriggling bulge peek out from underneath. Dib's hand reached up to his own mouth and he bit down on his finger, trying to contain the moans and whimpers that Zim was creating with every movement of his finger. Two fingers. Three. Dib bit into his hand harder, unable to block his own guttural cries as Zim fingered him fast and hard.

Zim chuckled darkly when Dib's bulge found its way out, using his free hand to stroke the wriggler and sometimes dipping down to suck the organ.

"Don't-tease-me-" Dib managed to say, his body shuddering beneath the other. Zim's response was to completely take Dib's organ into his mouth, treating the wriggler like candy, licking and sucking and swallowing the oh-so-good taste that Dib was leaking out.

The sensations that were driving him wild were suddenly halted. Dib blinked, sitting up to see Zim struggle with his own clothes.

"Stupid pants GET OFF ZIM!" Zim regretted wearing skinny jeans, as his own bulge was straining against them.

Dib glared at him, or rather, the pants, and got up to help him. "Zim..." He sighed, pulling them down forcefully, helping him out of the pants before falling to his knees, one hand holding Zim still while the other tentatively touched the bulging organ, leaning in to kiss and lick it. The wriggler was already slick, and Dib leaned in to greedily suck it up into his mouth. As his tongue worked around the organ Dib couldn't help but moan, feeling the other Irken's hands lightly tug and stroke his antennae. When Zim's own groans were heard, it pushed Dib further, using his own fingers to enter Zim, curling and spreading them around the inner walls of his wet hole.

Zim was shuddering, grabbing hold of Dib's head to keep balance and practically fucking his mouth as his hips jerked forward. "Yessss..." He hissed out until he felt a familiar pressure, "I-I mean NO." He suddenly pulled Dib back by the antennae, making Dib yelp in pain. Zim dropped to his knees and lunged forward to kiss Dib hard while his hands circled around Dib's hips, dragging him closer until Dib was practically straddling him. Dib groaned into the kiss, his eyes becoming half-lidded as he crawled onto the other and pressed himself down onto Zim's wriggler, the slick organ fitting inside his hole easily. When Zim hissed again Dib went in for another kiss, slowly riding on his pulsating organ.

It wasn't working to stop the pressure and Zim growled, grabbing Dib roughly and changing their positions so that he was on top. When he began to fuck Dib it was glorious, just how he imagined it to be. Though, with the pressure building he began to go faster, causing Dib to finally scream when the Irken began hitting the right spot repeatedly.

Dib was so close, unable to control himself or what escaped his mouth. Screaming Zim's name as his hips bucked, Dib felt like he wanted to die in pure ecstasy.

They came together, backs arching and hips grinding, feelings of lust and bliss spilling out though their orgasms. Their eyes were locked together, their breaths were harsh and ragged. Only after Dib saw Zim grin down at him did he remember how this started. The deal.

"Zim..." Dib breathed, trying to think. His brain wasn't really working now, still clouded from sex.

"I conquered you." Zim's grin stayed.

Dib's face flushed. "I-I really meant-"

"Oh don't try to get out of this Dib-worm, I conquered you. The planet is mine." Zim chuckled, leaning in to nip at his neck. "So are you." He added in a sensuous purr.

Dib's antennae twitched as a shiver went down his spine. There was nothing he could do.

There was nothing he wanted to do.


End file.
